Lonely Thoughts
By. Heather Lynn Doty
By. Heather Lynn Doty
My heart tears a little every time I see people together. How is it so easy for them? To love? To be loved? Rejection has scrapped me hallow like a pumpkin in the middle of October. On the outside its perfect, but on the inside only emptiness lined with trickles of left over pieces rendered useless in time. It's not the rejection of love that kills its the rejection of me as a person.
Love is like heroin it's great when your on it, but with out it you feel the pain of withdrawal. Most days I can trick myself into forgetting how much it hurts to be alone when others have so much joy, and love in there lives. You tell yourself your better off alone so you don't get hurt, you say you will find someone someday.
It's not being in a relationship that I crave. It's being missed, I just wan't someone to miss me when I'm not around. I'v had so meany people walk in and out of my life leaving painful memories like a trail of dirt upon my floor. How can someone be in your life then walk away with out even caring that your not around. When I care about someone, hell anyone whether you are a friend,family,or lover I always care about you. I always think about you everyday.
Maybe its my curs to care too much. My body aches with emotion everyday. I feel too much. I care too deeply. I have so much empathy it drives me insane. I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too heart wrenchingly sad. If my eyes could show my soul everyone would cry when they saw me smile. I miss so meany people that use to be in my life. I just feel forgotten, and alone sometimes and its killing me softly.
I'm not alone because I enjoy solitude. It's because I have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint me. Why do people have to be this lonely? What's the point of it all? Millions of people in this world, all of them yearning, looking to others to satisfy them, yet isolating themselves. Why? Was the earth put here just to nourish human loneliness? The worst part memories is not the pain. It's the loneliness of it. Where people used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss the people who use to be in my life and not a day will go by where I do not think of them with the heaviest of heart.
Love is like heroin it's great when your on it, but with out it you feel the pain of withdrawal. Most days I can trick myself into forgetting how much it hurts to be alone when others have so much joy, and love in there lives. You tell yourself your better off alone so you don't get hurt, you say you will find someone someday.
It's not being in a relationship that I crave. It's being missed, I just wan't someone to miss me when I'm not around. I'v had so meany people walk in and out of my life leaving painful memories like a trail of dirt upon my floor. How can someone be in your life then walk away with out even caring that your not around. When I care about someone, hell anyone whether you are a friend,family,or lover I always care about you. I always think about you everyday.
Maybe its my curs to care too much. My body aches with emotion everyday. I feel too much. I care too deeply. I have so much empathy it drives me insane. I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too heart wrenchingly sad. If my eyes could show my soul everyone would cry when they saw me smile. I miss so meany people that use to be in my life. I just feel forgotten, and alone sometimes and its killing me softly.
I'm not alone because I enjoy solitude. It's because I have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint me. Why do people have to be this lonely? What's the point of it all? Millions of people in this world, all of them yearning, looking to others to satisfy them, yet isolating themselves. Why? Was the earth put here just to nourish human loneliness? The worst part memories is not the pain. It's the loneliness of it. Where people used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss the people who use to be in my life and not a day will go by where I do not think of them with the heaviest of heart.
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