Trapped

Trapped

By. Heather Lynn Doty

Never has death felt so near,

His fingers tighten, I'm gasping for air.

I am trapped no way out of here.

Scream, and cry.

We live to die.

Never has death felt so near.

Took by a mad man who wanted nothing.

Oh god pleas, do something.

I am trapped no way out of here.

If I die shed a tear.

A mothers reaction causes fear.

Never has death felt so near.

Tearing at flesh, and beating skin.

Doused in pain, and lit with sin. 

I am trapped no way out of here.

A body to find in such despair.

What will they do without me here?

Never has death felt so near.

I am trapped no way out of here. 

Lonly Thoughts

Lonely Thoughts
By. Heather Lynn Doty

     My heart tears a little every time I see people together. How is it so easy for them? To love? To be loved? Rejection has scrapped me hallow like a pumpkin in the middle of October. On the outside its perfect, but on the inside only emptiness lined with trickles of left over pieces rendered useless in time. It's not the rejection of love that kills its the rejection of me as a person.
   Love is like heroin it's great when your on it, but with out it you feel the pain of withdrawal. Most days I can trick myself into forgetting how much it hurts to be alone when others have so much joy, and love in there lives. You tell yourself your better off alone so you don't get hurt, you say you will find someone someday.
 It's not being in a relationship that I crave. It's being missed, I just wan't someone to miss me when I'm not around. I'v had so meany people walk in and out of my life leaving painful memories like a trail of dirt upon my floor. How can someone be in your life then walk away with out even caring that your not around. When I care about someone, hell anyone whether you are a friend,family,or lover I always care about you. I always think about you everyday.
Maybe its my curs to care too much. My body aches with emotion everyday. I feel too much. I care too deeply. I have so much empathy it drives me insane. I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too heart wrenchingly sad. If my eyes could show my soul everyone would cry when they saw me smile. I miss so meany people that use to be in my life. I just feel forgotten, and alone sometimes and its killing me softly. 
I'm not alone because I enjoy solitude. It's because I have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint me. Why do people have to be this lonely? What's the point of it all? Millions of people in this world, all of them yearning, looking to others to satisfy them, yet isolating themselves. Why? Was the earth put here just to nourish human loneliness? The worst part memories is not the pain. It's the loneliness of it. Where people used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss the people who use to be in my life and not a day will go by where I do not think of them with the heaviest of heart.

DEAR ME

DEAR ME
BY.HEATHER LYNN DOTY

Dear, Me one day I will make you proud.

One day you will look at me with loving eyes and you will see beauty etched in the scars upon my skin.

One day you will forgive me for all those times I hurt you.

 

One day you will understand me and except me as I am.

 

One day I will show you that I am worthy of love, and happiness.

 

One day you will no longer feel resentment towards me.

 

One day you will admire me. You will see all the struggles I went through and be amazed I made it this far.

 

One day you will think about me, and it will make you smile.

 

One day you will see my true potential.

 

One day I will inspire you and be everything you ever wished you could be.

 

One day you will see that I have always done my best even in the worst of situations.

 

One day you will forgive me for all of my mistakes that caused you pain.

 

One day you will realize not all the bad things that happened to you were my fault.

 

One day you will stop beating me up every time you get upset.

 

One day you will see me in a different light.

 

One day I will be you and that day you will love me.

 

Love always present me.

DEAR SANTA

Dear, Santa 

 By.Heather Lynn Doty

            Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is my friend back I don't know why I still miss him? I haven't seen him hardly at all in these past few months,but I still miss him.Some days I want to write “I miss you” on a rock then throw it at his face just so he will know how bad it hurts to miss him. Its weird to think how your best friend can become a stranger.Im use to being on the inside of jokes now I feel like such an outsider.I feel like I’m being punished for trying to help him. And the thing that kills me is, so much time has past I feel forgotten, and easily replaced.
           He was my best friend.And I don’t want to replace him.I don’t want to be those friends who become strangers with similar memories.I think its because I am flawed and I understand others are as well.We all make mistakes some small, some big.But those mistakes shouldn't ruin years of good moments,memories, and laughter.Perhaps that's why you keep putting presents in my stalking instead of coal.I don't deserve to be put on the nice list but every year I am. And I figure if Santa can over look my flaws maybe my friend can too, and I his.
          My friend made some big mistakes this year and they really affected me.Some of his mistakes are still affecting me.But if he didn't make those mistakes I would have never took a hard look at my own mistakes and started to change.Infact those changes are the reason I deserve to be on the nice list this year.And its the reason I am asking for this I finally deserve something enough I thought to ask you for it.
         I understand if you can't give me what I want for Christmas. You can't make everyone happy.But I would be the happiest person in the world if you could.And that would be a true Christmas miracle because so much has gone wrong for me this year I can barely remember what happiness feels like.
        Christmas is supposed to be a time of forgiveness, friendship, and joy.I would give up all the unnessisary material items just to be friends again.So santa pleas don’t bring me any presints this year because I dont need any of them.All I need is a friend.

      Sincerely, You know who.
p.s. I will make you those chocolate chip cookies you like, please don't eat my gingerbread house again this year my gummy bears need a home.

The life of a bully, lived by a victim

The life of a bully,lived by a victim 

By.Heather Lynn Doty

You knock me down, and and call me names.

Don't you see we are the same?

They hurt you, so you hurt me.

Your actions are not who you want be.

Those who ignored you, should have adored you.

Seeking attention with false hoods you mention.

Out casting others because you never belonged.

Hurting many because one was wronged.

And endless pool of tormenting sorrow.

Collecting joy, only to barrow.

You hide behind laughter,taunting, and pain.

This wretched life will drive you insane.

You fallow others like a face in the crowd.

Till some one stands up and yells out loud.

Don't you see we are all the same?

But when you hurt others you are only to blame.

Forgotten Memories

Forgotten Memories 

By.Heather Lynn Doty

Withered hands a slave to time.

Trapped within a fragile mined.

Those I love now unknown.

I feel as though I'm all alone.

Anger fits, and joyful bits.

Flickers come and flickers go.

Who I am I do not know.

An endless labyrinth of the brain.

Can it be I'v gone insane?

Forgotten have I such memories.

Stolen away from a disease.  

Go to bed

Go to bed

By.Heather Lynn Doty

Go to bed my father said.

But I'm not tired.I screamed "I'm wired."

Go to sleep don't make a peep.

I'm wide awake for heavens sake. 

Go lay down, don't you frown.  

I want to play but I'll sleep ok.

Time to get up and feed your pup.

I want my bed I finally said.